DIARIES FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

“Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart“, Fyodor Dostoyevsky.  What do you do when you know exactly what to do? Nothing of course. This is the curse of someone who thinks so clearly – action becomes impossible. When every choice split into ten…

You can be kind to animals and kind every stranger who crosses your path, but kindness to strangers is not the measure of your character. Kindness at home is the real test of who you are. Strangers don’t carry our history and strangers don’t activate our wounds and strangers don’t…

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Please understand how long I’ve been carrying the weight of everyone else’s issues around for. Please understand how hard that has now made it for me to do simple tasks in life like get up every day and brush my teeth and shower and eat.  I mask so much pain I’m…

Look at yourself. You are so ready to betray us, but do you even know what for? Image? Do you really care that much about how people see you because I hate to break it to you, no one is around. You don’t have any real friends do you? Just…

The only thing we have in common is we carried someone for nine months. We both tore ourselves apart to bring someone into this world and while I will always fight for that person, you fight against and try to destroy. I loved him before he even existed and that…

Quite a few years ago now I realised that even though my experience has cost me the last 7 years with my son, that in fact I got exactly what I was asking for the whole time in the end. When all I wanted was to live my own life,…

It’s a strange paradox when you consider how everyone around you is on this quest for happiness, yet going to great lengths to ensure they find misery and pain. Constant states of delusion seem to be their resting heartbeat as they all mindlessly wander around, destructively bumping into each other on…

Is is a fear of intimacy or closeness, maybe it’s the fear of abandonment or fear of loss that drives us to play ‘relationship ping pong’? What do I mean by relationship ping pong? I mean the art of feeding off each other’s behaviour. We assume that we’ve done something…

Now I started this post earlier today and somehow I find myself stumped at this point. It’s possible that I’ve experienced all the emotions a human can experience in the past few hours and now I’m left in a weird space. Life has been vastly improving in recent months but…

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thecut.com/amp/2018/06/the-psychological-effects-of-being-separated-from-your-child.html

You know who you are. Believe it or not I had pretty much made peace with it and moved on. It’s second nature at this point sadly but if I allowed myself to feel them all I probably wouldn’t ever get out of bed ever again so this approach exists…

It’s a funny thing watching someone else self destruct or push people away. It’s as if it transferred from me to you while we were sleeping. While one messed up head, hell bent on pushing the world away fell asleep the other appeared to have woken up that way. I…

This report examines domestic violence in the context of contemporary Australian society. It describes the nature, extent and costs of domestic violence and also discusses: community attitudes; the experiences and responses of victims and perpetrators; legislation; responses by police and other agencies; and public education. — Read on aic.gov.au/publications/vt/vt02

https://theconversation.com/amp/domestic-violence-doesnt-just-happen-to-women-95246

When you have been told for so long that you are nothing that you are worthless that no one will ever love you. You begin to believe it. I did. I still do. But it’s so hard to break away from what you know. Especially when there is shame involved…

Depression After an Abusive Relationship https://time2mend.wordpress.com/2018/05/02/depression-after-an-abusive-relationship/ — Read on time2mend.wordpress.com/2018/05/02/depression-after-an-abusive-relationship/